Dying in Our Sleep is a Luxury
by dontdreamitbeit14
Summary: A gang boss who doesn't know how to deal with emotions. A loving brother with a secret. An innocent college kid. A flannel-wearing bodyguard. An Irishman with a past. These characters will find their lives woven together in this story. Filled with action, violence, drama, and crack ships galore, see how it all goes down. Gang!AU, rated T for violence and language, please enjoy.
1. Bang Bang

**Okay, so this story is based off of this super epic RP that my friends and I did last summer. It's going to have drama, violence, romance, intense situations, etc. I'm going to rate it T for now, but if it gets too bad, I'm going to move it up to M. Also, a few things to keep in mind. When we did the RP, I played Emil and Norway, and Norway's story was inspired by Kill Bill. So, just saying, that's going to be in there. There are going to probably be slightly out of character people, because we used different characterizations to fit this AU better. Also, there are going to be some really weird crack ships in this, just saying. The main characters include Iceland (Emil), Norway (Lukas), Prussia (Gilbert), Seamus (Ireland), and Matt (2p!Canada). There also are going to be some OCs in the form of random gang members and people from Seamus's back story. I don't own Hetalia, Kill Bill, or Nancy Sinatra. So, let's hope this all goes well. Do what you do and enjoy!**

 **Warning: Violence and suicide in this chapter.**

 _I was five and he was six_  
 _We rode on horses made of sticks_  
 _He wore black and I wore white_  
 _He would always win the fight_

This was it. The moment we have all been waiting for, the moment where I make my move. I knew that one of us wasn't making it out alive, and right now, I had the power to decide who it was. I had a sick feeling in my stomach about who I would choose.

I always thought about how I would die. I imagined it being in an epic showdown, where I was saving someone I loved, and giving myself up for them or something. It would be raining, I would be bleeding everywhere, and I would strike down the evil doer, before falling to the ground in victory. I would look down and realize that my wounds were fatal, but it would be all worth it. The only problem was, there really was only one person I would want to die for: Emil.

Emil knew nothing about any of this. He truly was innocent, he was just living his life and going to college, trying to be normal. He would get a monthly check from me in the mail to pay for expenses, and we would have family dinners once every few months. Our weird, twisted little family, that is. All this work I have done, all of it is for him. Every person I have shot down, killed, and betrayed was worth it just to see him live the life I never had.

The thing was, he didn't even need me here. I had money saved up that could at least pay for one person for a while, the only reason we are tight on cash was because there are two of us. Without me, he could be completely severed from the life I lead. Emil would never find out about what I've done, and I would never be worried that he could be used against me. There would be no secrets, Emil would just know me as his loving brother, and that's all.

It was then that I knew what I had to do.

It was partially selfish, but also the most selfless desire I have ever had. If I died tonight, Emil would never know about me, about my gang life, about how I am a killer. I could die as the big brother he always thought I was. We would both benefit from it. I am not making it out of here alive, I will make sure of it.

I looked over at the people in front of me. Gilbert, the man that has caused me so much trouble throughout the last few years, my gang boss. And Seamus, the Irishman who somehow got mixed into all of this. Or maybe it was destiny, that's why he was here tonight. I would never know, but I hope he gets his life back together in the days to come.

I look down at the gun in my hand, which is currently pointed at Gilbert. Oh, how I wish I could shoot him down now. Unfortunately, I feel as though he isn't my kill, and that someone else deserves to kill him. Sure, he ruined my life, but his treatment of me was nothing compared to the way he has treated others. He will die by the hands of one of them, but that will be another day.

I suppose this is now the time when I should say something clever. I should say something epic, something that people will be talking about for years to come. But honestly, I can't think of a single thing to say. Everything that needed to be said has already been said, there is nothing left.

I did wish I could tell Gilbert about what I was about to do, and how it was all for Emil. I hope that after I am gone, Gilbert doesn't mistake my sacrifice for him. Because I owe him nothing. I really don't. My life is not going to him, I hope he finds this apparent. I could always tell him about what was going to happen in a few moments, but that might ruin everything. He might try to stop me, or he might even try to kill me himself. But I can't let that happen. I want to be the one who controls my fate, since he has been in control of me for so many years.

I should probably think of something else. I don't want my last thoughts to be about that bastard, he doesn't deserve it. I think of Emil. I think of how much his life would be better now. He can have a good college experience once he gets all the money I have saved, get his degree, get a job, make a family for himself. I smile a bit at this, I am quite confident in my choice when I think of Emil's future.

I sigh, looking between the two men. They were standing there silently as I contemplated my next move, and I know that now is the time to follow through with my decision.

I stand up straight, and I look at Seamus. What a poor guy, I sincerely hope his life gets turned around in the near future. Then, I turn my attention to Gilbert. I hate this man, but for some reason, I think it's only appropriate that he is the last thing I see before I die. So I look him straight in the eye, and I put the gun in my hand up to my head.

And I pull the trigger.

 _Bang bang, he shot me down_  
 _Bang bang, I hit the ground_  
 _Bang bang, that awful sound_  
 _Bang bang, my baby shot me down_


	2. We are Beautiful We are Doomed

**Okay, so I wanted to start out with a bang (pun blah), so I guess I really like how the first chapter went. Sometimes I feel like I am some random kid on the internet writing "3deep5me" stories, which actually are cheesy and sucky in reality. So feel free to tell me if that's what this story seems like. Also, just a little heads up for the future. Some of this story will be told out of order, I really do get a lot of my inspiration from Quentin Tarantino. Anyways, hope you enjoy, do what you do, I don't own anything.**

It's a crazy world with crazy people, I have to tell you. I mean, sure, it definitely all depends on where you spend your time, and who you are around. Let's say you are sitting in a college level calculus class. Sure, things are going to be very tame. There aren't going to be outbursts, yelling, or fist fights going on there. But if you take the whole class, give them cars, and put them in a busy city during rush hour, it will bring out the inner craziness they all possess. There will be cursing, honking, and middle fingers galore in this situation.

Which also makes me wonder something else. Is anyone truly crazy, or truly sane? If different situations bring out the best and worst in you, then you are probably a little bit of both. A person who is completely relaxed and calm and thinks things through usually might make a few mistakes when put under extreme stress.

I would like to think that I am that type of person. Although on the outside I seem a bit cold and mean sometimes, on the inside I am usually trying my best to make rational decisions. Sometimes I escape predicaments without a scratch, other times, I have to pick between the lesser of two evils. But if there was one word to describe me, it would be rational.

I looked before l leapt, I thought things through and planned them out, I tried to sort out the pros and cons to every problem placed before me. Which is why the events that have unfolded over the past few months puzzle me to no end. How couldn't I, Emil Steilsson, master of all things rational, see the warning signs when they appeared to me?

Don't get me wrong, the signs weren't all that obvious. It was more like a feeling deep in my gut, but at the time, I must have ignored it. I mean, he seemed friendly enough, approaching me in a random coffee shop on my campus.

"Is this some kind of joke? A social experiment? Perhaps one of those lame ass YouTube pranks? Because I am reeeeeeeally not in the mood to deal with this," I said, glaring at the albino man in front of me. I mean, sure, he was friendly, but I never said I was.

"I simply wanted to share a table with you, perhaps even have a conversation. There's nothing wrong with that? Who knows, I could be a prospective student, torn between this school and another one, and you just made me cross this college off my list," he said with a slight smirk. Honestly, he looked like some weird demonic being. He was pale as a sheet, tall, skinny, with white hair and red eyes. I mean sure, I have white hair too, but I didn't look like the thing that just crawled out of hell like this man.

"You? A prospie? Please, you look like you are thirty or something. But, if you must, take a seat. Just make sure you don't break a hip on your way down. Because I am not responsible for any harm you cause to yourself in my presence," I said coldly, but on the inside I was quite satisfied with my response. The pasty man just smiled, while shaking his head, as he took a seat.

"Actually I'm 27, kid. But it's all good, I can still hang out with the cool kids. I'm hip as fuck!" he said with a triumphant expression, and I couldn't help but crack a small smile at him. Okay, he can stay, but only until I am done with my drink. Then, I ditch this guy and go do stuff elsewhere.

"By the way, the name is Gilbert, but you can call me the most awesome person you have met today. Unless you met, like, Samuel L. Jackson this morning. Then he totally wins hands down," Gilbert said, and I rose an eyebrow in amusement.

"My name is Emil, the guy who is not as awesome as Sam Jackson, but who wishes that one day he can surpass the greatness and powerfulness that is Mr. Jackson," I say, playing along with this guy. Well, he sure as hell got me to lighten up, maybe he would be kind of nice to keep around?

"Anyway, how's your sex life?" Gilbert says, and I look up at him like he is crazy. "Relax, relax, it's a quote from _The Room_ , the greatest bad movie of all time. But maybe if you wanted to tell me, I would be awfully interested. Maybe we can go back to my place, you can tell me about it?"

Ugggggggggh, shit. Okay, all this guy wants is to get into my pants. Which isn't actually bad, it's just not really what I want right now. I was hoping Gilbert could be an older friend, one that is cool and chill and buys me booze and stuff, or maybe even something more? Whatever, all that potential would go away if we just had a quick hook-up.

"Sorry Gilbert, but I don't think we want the same things here. I was hoping we could be friends, and that could progress as we went along or something. But sex now would ruin everything. But it's cool if you do that with others, don't get me wrong. I just actually want a real relationship," I explain to him, and he looks at me carefully, a look of confusion on his face.

"People actually still do those? Real relationships? That's… odd. I don't know what else to say, it's just odd to me. Maybe because I have never really had anything like that," Gilbert said, still looking like he was processing something in his mind.

"Umm, well, so you want to try? I mean, I have been in the dating market lately, and I guess I know a thing or two about relationships. Of course, we would start out as friends, because I am not in the mood to deal with the awkwardness that comes with the first few weeks of dating. I am willing to try something if you are," I said, casually, almost too casually. I guess I just don't want to make a big deal out of things and freak him out.

"You know what, why not. What have we got to lose anyways?" Gilbert said, taking a long sip from his formal forgotten coffee cup.

We had so much to lose, and much we actually did lose. Too bad we didn't realize it at the time.


End file.
